Can You Boil Crocs (and Eat Them)?

Who would have thought that you could actually boil your Crocs? Of course, your Crocs shoes can be boiled and eaten even with some dessert! LOL. Imagine walking into a very nice eatery on a very sunny weekend. After settling down in your seat, the waiter wastes no time walking up to your empty table.

He asks “Looks like you are having a great day, Sir. May I have your order?†Without looking at you, he holds up his paper and pen waiting. You think for a brief moment and then your eyes grew wide like you just figured out something revolutionary. “Crocs!†you eventually say, almost yelling. “Just one pair of Yukon Vista Clogs and some ketchup pleaseâ€

Crocs are 100% nontoxic and very much edible. But the question remains, should you eat them otherwise? My bold answer is a definite “NOâ€

How can you boil and season your Crocs?

I can simply boil my Crocs shoes by getting a good pot of water and placing it under the gas stove. I could either immerse the clog into the water before boiling or put it when the water starts boiling. The boiling point of water for cooking is about 100 degrees centigrade and this will do.

You can easily stir the Crocs shoes while I cook for better distribution of energy.

There will be worries over my Crocs getting burnt or melting. I say there is no need to worry. This is not fire but boiling water and nobody likes their food getting all burnt.

After boiling for about five minutes, the Crocs begin to emit some steam and with the telling of my kitchen spoon, it is now in a very flexible state too.

Now we move on to seasoning. There are so many seasoning spices to try out with your Crocs shoes like garlic powder, thyme, cinnamon, oregano, paprika, nutmegs, cayenne pepper, and so on! Pick your favorite spice and sprinkle as much as you want.

Boiling Crocs before eating them will definitely taste much better than munching it cold and tough. It is even going to be easier to digest so there will be lower calorie intake! The hotter and more moistured state of your Crocs shoes makes them way softer.

Before oiling though, there is the need to understand its composition. Is it flammable? Toxic? Or even melt-able?

Another important tip to know about boiling your Crocs shoes is that adding the spicing or flavors in the water first before boiling or when boiling will result to no effect and the flavor won’t transfer to the Crocs. This is due to steam and when water becomes gas, flavoring almost disappears with it.

Boiling shoes with some seasoning may or may not change their feel but surely, the taste. This is especially if the flavor is quite strong. But in terms of color, I am pretty sure it is all going to have the same result.

Now, what is this result? Well-cooked Crocs ready to be eaten!

Going with my experiment, boiling or seasoning your Crocs might not have too much of an effect especially a few minutes after the cooking procedures. I say this because the Croslite material does not hold water for that long.

The moisture power is very low thus, do not expect it to make any real difference from its original state.

Once my Crocs reach its flexible state due to immense heat, which is usually used for size adjustment, it will take about 30 minutes for the material to be firm again.

Another reason, like I have just mentioned is the steam. Steam will always find its way to escape my cooking pot and it naturally carries some of the water concentration with it. This is definitely going to help the Crocs reduce water concentration and in minutes, you are left with dry, salty Crocs when served on a plate!

Now that I have eaten my Crocs, what’s next?

A blogger once ate his Offroad Sport Clog shoes out of (maybe) experimental curiosity some years ago and the result was a hilarious experience. Although he strongly advised everyone not to digest their Crocs shoes under any circumstances even though extreme, stressing to “eat your friend before you eat your Crocsâ€

There isn’t going t be any form of toxic reaction or harm from your body system when you digest your cooked Crocs shoes. But imagine the process of digestion. Think about how difficult it is going to be for it to pass through your esophagus and how long it will take for the Croslite to digest in your stomach.

Digesting your Crocs is just like easting huge chunks of rubber and imagine how long or the amount of energy it will take for you to chew even though you dip it into the tastiest sauce or use the most revolutionary spicing. Croslite materials may be soft on the feet but are extremely stubborn on the teeth. Both scenarios can never be compared.

Another important question we should be asking is if our stomach acids are capable of digesting this Croslite material. Yes, it “might†be able to break down some small amount of soft rubber over time, but rubber cells are not as tight as the resins on your Crocs shoes.

All these also depend on the size, shape, and most importantly, the cleanliness of the Crocs. There is a logical issue of asphyxiation when your Crocs shoes have an uneven shape not suitable to pass through your gullets normally. (All Crocs can’t!)

Imagine chewing and ingesting your denser Crocband Clogs!

Even though you are patient enough to cut it into suitable sizes for consumption, it might still prove to be fatal when the shoe still contains non-digestible chemicals. I have been stressing the fact that they are not toxic, but that is only in their natural state.

Some Crocs shoes are customized with color palettes like Classic Tie Dye Clogs or spray paint while some are made of leather, suede, wool, and canvas style.

As soon as you start conveying signs of constipation, diarrhea, chronic stomach upset and loss of appetite, quickly inform your doctor. These symptoms usually show up between a day or two after digesting your Crocs

My Advice

There isn’t much to be said after all we have discussed eating your Crocs shoes. It is an extremely bad idea to want to eat your Crocs and there is a 99% chance it is going to be fatal.

There might be so many dumb-founding reasons for you to want to make that decision; from misplaced curiosity, and dumb experiments to extreme survival situations.

For the fact that you want to have a taste because of its squishy nature and you are not hungry, you will need to see a psychiatrist because there might be a regression of your mental state.

Staff writer and blogger Gunnar Lundberg has already carried out this experiment and has stated clearly his revolt towards any other person trying it even in extreme situations. There are tendencies you are going to face some really bad health conditions and most importantly, lose your life out of curiosity.

Crocs are not poisonous but it is not only poison that can kill you. Avoid the thoughts of trying out a Crocs dish because it is neither tasty nor nutritious even to the slightest. Not even the good-looking Fuzzy Slipper Crocs.

My candid advice to anyone who wants to eat their Crocs shoes is simple – you just shouldn’t. It might be the end of you!

In conclusion…

I can virtually boil and eat anything especially when it is inflammable. I have heard people try to eat so many odd objects that cannot be categorized as food. There are cases of accidents but cooking, seasoning, and eating your Crocs is no accident unless you are stranded on an island and you have some food seasoning on you!

When I heard that some people are getting g curious enough to try to eat their crocs shoes, two things came to my mind; are we talking about toddlers? If not, we leave in a crazy world filled with crazies and daredevils who want to try everything!

Crocs shoes are trendy shoe brands that continue to gain pedigree worldwide after selling more than 600 million pairs over the past decade. They are meant to be worn because of their incredible make, fashionable design, and fantastic comfortability. The fact that some are now been bought to be eaten will only baffle me.

Instead of cooking and eating your Crocs shoes after you get tired of them, it is far better to put them up for donations in religious and reach-out centers, resell them in thrift stores, use them as home/garden equipment, or as decoratives. The Croslite material is not biodegradable which makes them very easy to be recycled.

There are so many ways Crocs can be useful other than in the belly of anyone.